A divorce coach is a certified professional with specialized education and training in fields such as psychology, counseling, or social work, who also has expertise in areas associated with marital termination. For example, a neutral divorce coach can help individuals to manage their emotions associated with separation/divorce, resolve conflicts, improve communication, address relevant family dynamics, inclusive of co-parenting issues and impacts of divorce on children, etc. Indeed, if not effectively managed, the above-noted factors can serve to derail the separation/divorce process and severely limit the potential to reach mutually acceptable agreements, as well as causing longer term, negative impacts.
Divorce coaches work as part of a collaborative divorce process team.
Within the collaborative separation/divorce process, each person retains their own collaboratively trained lawyer. Both lawyers work in a non-adversarial manner to protect their respective clients’ interests and needs, while helping their clients reach mutually acceptable agreements, without going to Court.
In addition to collaborative lawyers, on an ‘as needed basis’, other collaboratively trained interdisciplinary professionals (such as a divorce coach, financial specialist, etc.,) can work along with the lawyers, as part of a collaborative team, with each team member offering their specialized expertise. As most lawyers do not have the same specialized education, experience, and training, offered by a divorce coach (or other interdisciplinary professionals), incorporating the ‘right professional at the right time’ can offer significant benefits.
For example, working with a neutral divorce coach can help to diminish the duration of the divorce process, as well as the associated negative impacts. Further, there can also be significant cost savings, as services provided a divorce coach are typically offered at a lower hourly rate than lawyer fees. In the context of the collaborative divorce process, the neutral divorce coach’s specialized expertise supplements and complements the lawyer’s legal proficiencies. Such an approach is cost-effective and helps with reaching a mutually acceptable separation/divorce settlement, without going to Court, that protects the dignity and long-term interests of both parties.
Divorce Coach Roles:
Although divorce coaches may apply their respective competencies to other contexts, such as therapy/counseling, etc., within the collaborative divorce process, their role is different.
For example, a therapist can be considered as someone to whom a person brings his/her problems/baggage, with the goal of unpacking and exploring in detail the contents, all aimed at helping the person to better understand why he/she feels the way they do, providing empathy and support, as well as helping the client identify options to address their problem areas.
In contrast, the neutral divorce coach focuses on gaining insight into each person’s issues, interests and goals, as well as their fears and concerns, and rather than ‘providing therapy[i], the neutral divorce coach focuses on helping those involved in marital termination to: effectively manage associated emotions, enhance constructive communication, address areas of impasse, decrease conflict, and as applicable, help develop a co-parenting plan that is in the best interests of their children, which in turn, collectively facilitates both individuals being able to move forward in their separation/ divorce journey.
The neutral divorce coach role includes, but is not limited to:
- Providing support to help manage the emotional toll and stress of divorce, as well as providing a safe space for clients to express their feelings, goals, and fears.
- Teaching relevant coping and emotion-management tools that help resolve misunderstandings and conflict, as well as assisting clients to participate in constructive and resolution-focused communication. This becomes particularly valuable when discussions are contentious and/or become heated. Thus, the divorce coach can help calm troubled waters that would otherwise capsize the vessel.
- In addition to helping with resolving conflicts and misunderstandings, also identify shared values and common goals.
- As applicable, provide co-parenting guidance aimed at minimizing the negative impacts of divorce on children and to make decisions that are in the best interests of their children, for both the short and long-term.
- Facilitate meetings with lawyers (and other professionals as applicable), as well as assisting each party prepare for discussions and settlement meetings.
- Assist both parties with setting realistic expectations and goals during and after the divorce.
- As needed, the divorce coach can provide referrals to relevant resources.
Further information about the role and benefits of a neutral divorce coach, as well as relevant contact information, can be found at this link:
[i] Of important note, simultaneous to their divorce-specific work with a divorce coach, some clients may wish to also seek out a therapist or other resources for further support.
